Hot Girl... HOOK UP!

Say hello to Gal Gadot

Its late, we haven't been posting and its Memorial Day weekend. A litter generosity never hurt anyone. We're hooking you guys up at this late hour. So you already know what I'm about to do...Take a shower... because I'm so filthy... But really, I just ran like 5 miles.

Enjoy. CBM

CBM on Youtube!

Hey guys, I realize there have been a lack of posts lately, but me and D-Ran have been working on getting CBM to Youtube! So hopefully we can get some quality videos up. So all for you lazy people that don't like to read, just close your eyes, think about what we're saying, then fantasize about us. Kidding. But as soon as we get this editing business down, we'll hit you guys with the link to our FIRST VIDEO!

CBM

Hot Girl of The Week #6

Naomi Price aka Priceline chick in latex suit aka Sacheen Padilla aka Filipino, Spanish, and Chinese goddess. 

We apologize for the lack of posts, we been grinding for finals. Wish us luck. 

CBM

Hot Girl of the Week #5

Sorry guys. I know its technically now Thursday. But I was looking for hot chicks at this late hour... and well you know what that led to... so you know what I just finished doing.

But not to Olivia Wilde... shes too exquisite.

RecomMANdation #3 - MAN Code

The MAN Code among men is sacred. The bond between good friends, bros, brothers, best friends, whatever you call your friends, should be respected. Just like how girls always go to the bathroom in packs, guys should never violate the "MAN code." Don't date, see, have sex with, have a fling with, your friends past ladies. To put it in the most basic terms. Its a fuckin' no no.

It comes down to the this simple fact: Bros before hoes.
I would rather have the respect of 1 man than the adoration of 10 girls.

A true friendship between two guys takes a lot of time to build and to see the true character of someone is priceless. But when it comes to meeting a girl or simply just "getting it in," that all can start with a simple hello and a moment of seduction.

It doesn't matter if the girl you want to see has been broken up with your buddy for 6 months, or whatever imaginary time period you put on it. That's your friends ex and shes old news to him... and to you.

Think about it, at the next Buddy BBQ, you're going to bring your friend's ex-girlfriend to the BBQ as your new girlfriend? You're now literally just 1 step away from shittin' in his cheeseburger.

Read the blog, pick up tips, then pick up chicks. But don't screw your friends ex-girlfriend(s).

CBM

Top 5 Things Every Woman Should Know

So this is dedicated to all the ladies out there who don't know what they're doing with themselves. Without further adieu....

1) YOU CANNOT CHANGE US. I repeat, DO NO THINK YOU CAN CHANGE US. You will get hurt in the end. I don't know how many times I have witnessed girls stick around with some deadbeat, scrub, player, thinking that his intentions are pure, that he actually likes her, but in the end they get played.

Girl: "He's really nice though, he's not like that"

Me: "Yeah, did you guys have sex yet?"

Girl: "no..."

That is precisely why he is being nice to you. Of course not all guys are like this, i'm talkin about the cocky player type, once they get what they want, they will drop you, just don't fall for it.

2) You should have some cooking abilities, this isn't being sexist or anything. I'm not saying like, bitch go make me a sandwich type shit. But when I come home and you say "Here babe, I made you some Ling Ling potstickers and a taquito". That is most definitely NOT a meal. Don't get me wrong, I respect the effort, but let's be real you can try a little harder than that. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach; there aren't many things guys like more than food, besides money, sports, blowjobs, and....maybe COD. I've actually cooked many meals for my past girls and it's nothing i'm ashamed of, but in all seriousness, just know how to cook, it's kinda sad if you don't, and pretty sexy if you do.

3) Don't snoop, it's not cute. If you have no reasonable cause to snoop then just don't do it. Especially if we find out later you snooped and looked through our personal belongings, then we'll just get angry and not want to be with you. If you don't trust your man then you need to check your relationship, not his cell phone.

4) No one likes a clingy girl, we have our own lives so give us some space. Don't blow up our phones, drunk dial us, ask us to hang out all the time; at first its coo, but after a while its just like ugh...this bitch....

5) There is one quality that trumps numbers 1-4 and if you have this fine quality; a guy may be willing to overlook the fact that you are being a dumb, egg burnin, patriot act snoopin, drunk dialin bitch. So what is this rare quality, that would make the world a better place? So simple, yet hoards of women out there just don't understand the secret? I know your just dying to know so the answer to it all lies in the power of three letters and that is.....D T F. "AAAAAAW YEAAAAAHHH"

CBM

Top 5 Really Manly Drinks

At a local bar, I was able to talk to a man's man bartender. A pretty hard nosed and educated guy who has been pouring drinks for ages and can tell the differences between a man and a boy just by the drink he orders.

But of course this is simply an opinion and your personality obviously goes beyond the type of drink you prefer. But it was a great top 5 that I had to share.

1. Whiskey/Bourbon/Cognac on the rocks - Dark alcohol, the staple of any man's liquor cabinet.
Personal Preference: Jamison Irish Whiskey

2. Whiskey/Bourbon/Cognac mixed drink - Rather it be with Coke or anything else, dark is the way to go. The perfect example, a Manhattan - Whiskey, Bitters and Vermouth.
Personal Preference: Manhattan & Jim Beam and Coke

3. Beer - Simple, Refreshing, Manly.
Personal Preference: Almost any imported beer.

4. Straight Shots - No, not of Midori or Malibu Rum. Man up and feel the burn. 80 Proof+ only please.
Personal Preference: Chilled Grey Goose Vodka

5. Pussy - Every man knows its a must. Don't be scared, going down is like drinking alcohol, its an acquired taste.
Personal Preference: Shaven and clean.

The Invisible Girlfriend

One of my buddies has been head over heels about his new girlfriend and talks about how awesome she is. He even claims that even after a moment of intimacy, she literally made him a sandwich. Hard to believe. So this lead to further questioning.

This is our conversation.

Razz: So you mean to tell me, she actually made you a sandwich...

Aaron: Yeah! I was like, "Baby, where are you going?" She said, "I thought you might be hungry so, I'm going to make you something to eat." And when I got downstairs, BAM! A sandwich!

Razz: You're so full of shit. There's no way after sex, a girl will just go make a sandwich.

Aaron: Ha, wells there's no way a girl YOU have sex with, will just go make a sandwich.

Razz: Yeah yeah. Whatever, So you finally had sex with her?

Aaron: No... I just said we were intimate.

Razz: Wow dude. Really? So What... She just wiped her mouth off and said, "Well baby, since I just ate, I'll fix you something?"

Aaron: AHA. Nah man. Shes just a really good girl.

Razz: Okay, I guess. So how come I've never seen her or met her before?

Aaron: Shes from So Cal. So I only see her from time to time.

Razz: What the heck? You go all the way to LA to see your "girlfriend" and you haven't had sex with her yet?

Aaron: Yeah. I'm trying to take it slow and do it right.

Razz: Do it right? What are you talking about? She makes you sandwiches after "intimacy" and you're doing something wrong?

Aaron: Nah man, I'm just taking it slow and showing respect. I'm waiting for the right time.

Razz: The right time.... YOU'RE WAITING FOR HER 18th BIRTHDAY AREN'T YOU!

Aaron: No man! She's 24.

Razz: And I stand up to put my pants on two legs at a time.

CBM

Hot Girl of the Week #4

click to enlarge

What's with all the clothing...and no cleavage, or even a bare ass... nothing?! *gasp. Well, this is Hot Girl of the Week, not Naked Girl of the Week, so here it is....


The beautiful Emmanuelle Chriqui, popular for her role as Sloane in Entourage, new season coming out July 2011! If she's anything like her character; independent, down to earth, classy, she's my type of lady.


CBM 

Same Girl

This little story is about my high school senior trip to Hawaii.

I'll try to make this one brief, but the setting is 6 of my close guy friends on the island of Honolulu during one summer. I'll be using fake names because it makes it more "exciting".

So one night we all decide to go out to the club, while we're there we meet a group of four older girls that just so happen to be from the same city as us, but they're on a family trip instead.  Fast forward a few hours, the club ends, and we all don't want the night to end so we all go back to our hotel and all have a wild orgy, end of story.

just kididng. Here's the real story....

So the ten of us head back, drink a lil bit more, hang out ya know.  At this point some of the guys call it a night and go to sleep; two of the girls also go back to their hotel early. That leaves four guys and two of the girls now, and its getting late probably 3-4am by this time, so me and my buddy Nate volunteer to walk them back to their hotel a few blocks down.  We finally get to their place and the four of us get into the elevator, however they live on different floors, Nate and Amy get off first and leaving me and Tiffany. At this point I realize Tiffany and I are holding hands, and you can cut the sexual tension with a knife. As soon as the doors open we immediately start making out, all while slowly stumbling down the hallway to her room. Three hickies and a half boner later we get to the door and Tiffany goes...."umm I don't want to go back, can I sleep at your place?" I'm like bitch I just walked all the way here and now you wanna what? wait what...? "OF COURSE YOU CAN"  So Tiffany and get back on the elevator and walk all the way back to my hotel.

We get back, everyone is sleeping and my bed is empty. But here's the catch, me being the gentleman that I am, I tell Tiffany she can take the bed and i'll just sleep on the floor. I was trying to plant the seed and play the good guy card and hopefully she'll ask me to join her.  She doesn't. Plan failed. I fall asleep on the floor.

OK so while i am asleep on the floor, my friend we'll call him....E., who was sleeping on the floor when I got back, somehow gets into the bed with Tiffany and messes around with her all WHILE IM ASLEEP ON THE FLOOR!    

Morning comes....I wake up, people are already up, the ladies go back to their place and its just us guys. We're all kinda sitting around eating spam and pineapples and what not, when someone raises the question... "Soooo did any of you guys get lucky last night??" I look around, seeing everyone else just kinda looking around; I break the silence and hesitantly say "...yeahh I made out with Tiffany", but in my mind i'm like sup bitches, made out with a chick 4 years older than me. Everyones like whaaaat, wow didn't see that coming, good shit yada yada. I'm like "yeah, well ya know". But then E. goes woah woah hold on... "YOU made out with Tiffany last night? no no man...I made out with Tiffany last night." I'm like...wait a minute, did this sneaky bitch really just make out with both of us last night?

That's exactly what she did.  A few years after that she got knocked up and now she has a baby, go figure. And ever since then whenever E. calls me, his ringtone is "Same Girl" by Usher and R. Kelly. I really forgot how he ended up in the bed with her, but regardless it made for a funny ass story the next morning and something we all will never forget.

What I learned from this is to seize the moment, if you don't - someone will.  I'm just glad E. and I don't have to pay child support. Mahalo and good night.

CBM

Top 5 Man Knowledge: Razz

Alright guys, D-Ran did a top 5 bit, and this is my top 5, directed specifically to courting the ladies.

1. CONFIDENCE. CONFIDENCE. CONFIDENCE. I don't know how else to say it.
Confidence breeds success, success breeds confidence. Believe in yourself.

2. Know how to listen! Even if you're faking it, do a good job of it. No girl wants to talk to a wall. Even if her talking/rambling/complaining seems to have no end, asking the right questions at the right time will show her that you understand and will cut down on her describing situations... Which means less talking... and more... fuc... whatever you guys enjoy doing in your spare time.

3. Dress to the occasion. Example: Don't wear flip flops to dinner. Even though it may seem like a casual event, keep in mind that she took the time and effort to put on a "cute outfit," put on makeup, do her hair, etc.

4. Little things count and chivalry isn't dead. There's nothing wrong with getting the door for her, letting her sit down first and picking up the tab. Even though it seem unimportant, she will recognize these little details...
Details lead to points, points lead to kudos and kudos lead to you know...

5. Going for drinks doesn't always mean sex. Buying her drinks doesn't make you a panty dropper. Make a too forward move and you could ruin the whole date and get branded a pervert.
This isn't a movie, and you probably don't look like Brad Pitt. Hate to break it to you, sorry.

Baby, Say My Name...

So not too long ago, I went out on a Thursday night with a few shy friends. Considering it was 4 of us just standing around with a few drinks, I decided it was time to meet a few ladies, dance a little bit and have a good time.

I approached a group of pretty good looking ladies, also standing in their group with their drinks.
I introduced myself and did a little bit of small talk. I laid out the situation, and told them that my friends were shy and they wanted to dance a little bit. They were open to it and were willing to show them a few moves on the dance floor and get the night started.

After I Introduced myself, this is the conversation...

Razz: Yeah, I hate to admit it, but my friends are horrible wing men! Haha, so I guess I got to be a good friend and help them get on the dance floor!

Lady: Aww, aren't you such a good friend.

Razz: Haha, I try, I'm just trying to have a good time tonight.

Lady: Oh a good time huh? you sure you can handle all of us? We're all a pretty good time.

Razz: Oh really? Well you know, whatever happens, happens. But don't worry, I promise I'll say goodbye in the morning.

Lady: HAHA! You're brave! I like that. So whats the deal with your friends? How come none of them wanted to talk to us?

Razz: I promise they're just shy. They're all pretty funny once you get to know them. But I'm sorry, I never got your name.

Lady: Its Sa___. (Her name was inaudible b/c "Another One Bites The Dust" was playing too loud in the background.)

Razz: Nice meeting you, my name is Razz. Sasha. Do... (she cuts me off.)

Lady: Excuse me?! Who the fuck is Sasha?!

Lady's Friend mouths another one bites the dust... Just as the song is playing in the background.
And the entire group walks away.

Moral of the story. HEAR AND REMEMBER their names... Because standing with 4 guys all night at a bar/club/lounge isn't a good time.

5 Basic Conversation Tip

Alright guys, so when it comes to having a conversation, with the hot girl next door, the guy in front of you buying coffee or someone on the bus, a light conversation can make the wait seem shorter, or even lead to a phone number.

My theory is that the more people you talk to, regardless of who they are, how hot they are, how old they are; the more people you talk to the more conversational confidence you build. So when it comes to talking to that important boss for an interview or its that 10 second window you have to catch a girls attention, you'll be ready and this important person, will just become a regular conversation. No pressure.

1. It has been said many times before, but BODY LANGUAGE is key. Eye contact establishes interest and honesty. Smile! Smiling allows the other person to feel comfortable and not as if they're being audited.

2. Keep the conversation's topic light. For example, don't talk about politics or financial issues. If they're banned from dinner tables, they're banned from light conversations. You want the conversation to be relaxing and casual. Anything too heavy will may make you seem overbearing and even intrusive.

3. Starting the conversation may seem tricky at first. But use your environment around you to start a conversation. I like to call them "platforms" on which you can began the conversation. You don't need cheesy pick up lines or awesome one liners. A basic "Hi, how's your day going?" works just fine.

4. Be humorous. Say something that will make you stand out. But for the love of God, no dirty jokes please. You pervert. Kidding. But humor makes the conversation proceed, it allows the other person to react to your statement and making the other person laugh is always a plus.

5. Know when to end the conversation. No one likes awkward silence. You can go from nice guy at the coffee shop to awkward conversation inline in a heart beat. So when you can tell the other person is losing interest and seems distracted, there is nothing wrong with cutting the conversation short. You can always end it with an "Alright, have a good day," "Or nice talking to you."

*BONUS!
Because who doesn't love free stuff?!
6. Don't be shy or afraid to ask the person's name. If the conversation is flowing and the other person seems open, ask their name and introduce yourself. It gives that personal touch. And if you're talking to a lady, you just met Stephanie, Susie or Sandy, whatever it is.

Or maybe you've been reading this blog... and you met ALL 3 of the ladies in one day.
You get those phone number you awesome fans you.

Hot Girl of the Week #3

Hello everyone, wrapping up this hump day, I have a little something to get you through the week and hopefully through tonight... Well anyway, I'm sure none of you are even reading this with that distraction up there. So this concludes hot girl of the week 3.

Dirty Weekend

After talking to D-Ran about my weekend and discussing my plans... this is our conversation.

D-Ran: Hey, what do you have going on for the weekend man?

Razz: Not much. Just I'm going to stay at my lady's place for a bit, then visit my mom for Mother's Day.

D-Ran: Oh, nice, good plan. Gonna put the sex game on huh?!

Razz: No... not with my mom.

CBM

To Quit Smoking

So my sports team was getting ready for a big competition and everyone for a whole month has been training hard, eating right and keeping in shape. We have this one teammate who is a smoker and defeats the entire purpose of hard training... this is the conversation.

Waterman: Damn, great session today huh?

Scott: Ya man, coach beat the shit out of me.
(Lights up a cigarette)

Waterman: Wow, after all of that, how are you going smoke now...

Scott: Its a good stress relief and it relaxes me.

Waterman: I guess... how much do you pay per pack?

Scott: About $5.

Waterman: So how about this, take my phone number.

Scott: Why?

Waterman: Just call me, and for $5 dollars, I can make you feel good anytime you want.

CBM